Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What was the craziest place that you had sex with someone in public?

And the sadness?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Wedbush Fund Advisers Launches IVES AI Revolution ETF Built on Dan Ives’ Proprietary Research - GlobeNewswire

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I was tired of fighting.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Can certain diseases cause paranoia similar to that seen in individuals with paranoid schizophrenia, even if they do not have the disorder?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

How did you cope when someone you love, dealing with hyper-independence and trauma, felt they needed space to heal alone? Were you able to support them without overstepping, and did you eventually reconnect? How did that journey unfold?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

You are like me, then.

3 Black Holes Caught Eating Massive Stars in NASA Data - NASA Science (.gov)

The sadness was still there.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Is Donald Trump's very public crusade against the so-called "woke" and illegal immigration an asset or liability to the popularity of right-wing parties in Europe?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Samsung could drop Google Gemini in favor of Perplexity for Galaxy S26 - Ars Technica

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Elon Musk says the Trump tariffs will cause a recession in the second half of 2025 - Forexlive | Forex News, Technical Analysis & Trading Tools

It’s still here.

I had run out of hope.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Bryce Huff thankful he landed with 49ers - NBC Sports

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Be who you already are.